Battle of the Smash Crews
by Yoshizilla-Fan
Summary: Dedicated to the popular Smash groups over on Tumblr and wherever else they may be hot at, like the Hot Topic Crew.
1. Chapter 1

**Battle of the Smash Crews**

by Yoshizilla-Fan

Yoshizilla-Fan: The whole Smash Crew thing has become popular, hasn't it? Not only does this fic pit these crews against each other, but this is also my 100th fanfic. This is going to be such an exciting fic. I hope you enjoy it. I think you will.

* * *

Palutena farted a cute little poot in front of the other Cute Toot House members in the Smash Mansion, which consisted of Silver the Hedgehog, Mario, and Zelda, giggling as she fanned her butt, several other cute toots following.

"Darn it, Palutena! Did you just cut the cheese again?" Silver groaned, smelling Palutena's toots.

"Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Cheese?" Little Mac gasped, going into a cheese attack, suddenly floating in the air and following the smell of cheese in the air apart from Palutena's farts.

"What's-a-his-a-problem-a?" Mario asked.

"I'm not sure." Zelda told him.

"Hey, gotta keep this house living up to its name!" Palutena stated, letting out another cute toot.

* * *

Meanwhile, the Hot Topic Krew, which consisted of Lucas, Wolf O'Donnel, Shadow the Hedgehog, and several other members were eating slices of pizza while drinking Capri Sun, when Little Mac floated in, smelling the open boxes of pizza, grabbing a few slices and eating them whole.

"Hey, that's our pizza, you cheese thief!" Wolf growled.

"I bet those people at the Cute Toot House set you up to this!" Shadow remarked.

Little Mac broke from his cheese attack, landing as he got up. "What? I don't even know what happened!"

"Oh shut up! We're gonna give those Cute Toot Twerps what for!" Wolf growled.

* * *

The Hot Topic Krew then showed up at the Cute Toot House, each of them in their fighting stances.

"What do you guys want?" Silver asked.

"You sent Little Mac to steal and eat our cheese pizza! So now, we're gonna beat that pizza's worth out of you!" Shadow remarked.

"Oh gosh!" Toadette gasped, letting out a cute little toot herself, sitting next to Lana.

"Oh, not these guys again!" Princess Peach growled, standing up and letting out a cute little toot of her own, having walked by and noticed them.

Before anyone could act, Lana burped loudly, her burping being loud enough to shake the room, blowing the Hot Topic Krew away as Lucas tried fighting back with PK Fire, which proved stupid as Peach and Palutena farted again, their gas being lit on fire as it caused the entire mansion to catch fire, with Greninja using Water Pulse to put it out, only for Pikachu to overreact as he accidentally used Thunderbolt, which was Super Effective against Greninja.

Everyone shook off the burns and stared at Lana.

"What? I had too much grape soda today." Lana shrugged, another burp coming out of her.

"I'm surrounded by idiots." Pit groaned.

"This isn't over, Cute Toot House! Soon your demise will be our next hot topic! Because that's how we roll." Wolf remarked, crawling up to them as the other HTK members groaned in pain, all of them piled up on the other side of the hallway.

"This is horrible." Falco stated. "Do you know what you've started?"

"So what? We're Smashers. Fighting each other is what we do." Palutena shrugged as she, Peach, and Toadette let out cute trumpet toots in unison.

"Yeah, but we don't all let out these farts!" Silver groaned, annoyed by their flatulence.


	2. Chapter 2

Toadette released a loud tuba toot, following by a loud trumpet toot, and then a trombone toot, blushing as she held her dress. "Phew, they don't call me Toadette the Tuba Trumpet Trombone Tooter for nothing!" Toadette giggled, releasing a loud symphony of tuba, trumpet, and trombone toots over the next few moments, with Palutena fanning the air, applauding her.

_"Peeyew!"_ Palutena laughed, fanning the smelly symphony that erupted from Toadette's butt. "Wow Toadette, you're getting so good at farting, we could start our own orchestra with our butts!" Palutena bent over, farting a long, brassy toot that echoed throughout the room. And lifted her dress.

"Hey, the rest of us are in here too y'know!" Silver groaned, pulling out a clothespin and plugging his nose with it, the other Cute Toot House members doing the same as Palutena and Toadette both giggled. "So stop cutting the cheese so much!"

"Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Cheese!" Little Mac stuttered, going into a cheese attack as he followed the smell of cheese that emanated from the MemeMemeMeme Brigade's room, the latter of which were drinking CapriSun with bags of Doritos, being enthralled to what was not his cheese.

"Palutena, I know you're managing to outfart Peach, but you should know that the Wii Fit Trainer once tried to upstage her. So like a fart, it will pass eventually." Pit mentioned.

"Yeah. Eventually. But until then, my farts will only get better!" Palutena farted loudly again, her fart being a cute toot as Toadette couldn't help but giggle. "Besides, this whole crew thing is the reason WFT isn't around anymore and therefore is reduced to farting on her own turf, much like most of the other women in this mansion."

"Like me." Zelda stated, releasing a cute toot of her own.

Palutena nodded as Sonic sighed, being bored as hell.

"If all you're gonna do is fart, then I've got a date with Fastidious Chipmunk." Sonic remarked.

"Actually, I'm not _a chipmunk_, I'm a beaver." Fastidious Chipmunk stated, popping up in the middle of the room.

"Dude, what are you doing here? You're not a Cute Toot House member." Sonic remarked.

"Actually, I am just making a cameo appearance in this fanfic." Fastidious mentioned.

"Wa-ha-ha!" Wario remarked, literally dropping in unexpectedly.

"And just what are you doing here?" Palutena placed her hands on her hips, mildly appalled to see Wario.

"The Hot Topic Krew hired me to do some damage! And although I cannot outfart you, I will start by outfarting that cute little mushroom girl over there!" Wario pointed at Toadette, who gasped at this.

"Are you pointing to little ol' me?" Toadette asked.

"That's right! And I'm tired if being outfarted by all the girls in this mansion! And I know that you of all others cannot outfart me!"

"That's not true, Wario! Toadette can outfart you!" Palutena remarked.

"Oh really? Is that so?" Wario crossed his arms, smirking sinisterly.

"Of course! _A mouse_ can outfart you!" Palutena remarked.

"Ha! Challenge accepted, Paletuna!" Wario laughed.

"Oh, I can't believe you got me into this!" Toadette groaned.

"It'll be fine. Trust me." Palutena assured her.

"Get ready to be one of the only girls who cannot outfart the great Wario!" Wario remarked.

Toadette felt a rumble in her stomach, turning around as she grunted, releasing a long, loud fart blast that started at the sound of a deep pitched tuba, then made its way up to a high pitched trumpet and then down to that of a trombone as it lasted for 30 seconds, blowing Wario away as he cursed in anger.

"See, I told you you could do it!" Palutena patted Toadette, who blushed as her farting began to turn wet.

"Umm, thanks Pali, but now I really need a diaper change!" Toadette groaned as the other Cute Toot members groaned in disgust.

"Can we go out and fight against the other crews now? This chapter's been nothing but one long fart fest." Lucario groaned.

"Actually, there was also some smack talk and cheese cravings involved." Fastidious pointed out as the other Smashers groaned at his fastidiousness.

"Sure thing, Lu!" Palutena let out a cute little toot to represent the Cute Toot House again, giggling afterward.


	3. Chapter 3

"I'm feeling it!" Shulk gasped. "I'm feeling the Hot Topic Krew and the Cute Toot House being hot on our trail!"

"Ain't nobody got time for that!" Marth remarked.

Donkey Kong squinted as the camera zoomed in on him while dramatic music played, the ape being not sure if there was no time to be feeling it, or if they realized that they were being used as memes within context.

"I will get my chance today to beat them all!" Chrom stated.

**_"Holy Cheese!"_** Captain Falcon gasped, seeing Ike fighting an overgrown piece of sentient fried chicken that came out of nowhere, the swordsman doing both of his specialties, which were fried chicken and fighting for his friends.

"Ch-Ch-Ch-Cheese?" Little Mac gasped, his eyes becoming swirled as he went into a "cheese attack".

"Not again, Little Mac!" Reyn gasped, both disappointed that Little Mac was having another cheese attack, and that it was not Reyn Time.

"CHEESE!" Little Mac exclaimed, going into a cheese frenzy as he followed the smell of Doritos in the air, with Riki stopping him, but failing as he was dragged along as Little Mac floated off the ground, still following the Dorito smell in the air.

Meanwhile in another room, the Hot Topic Krew had a bag of Doritos placed outside, which Little Mac snatched as a cage came out of nowhere and fell on top of him, trapping him inside, causing him to snap out of his cheese frenzy.

"Check it out! We got one!" Lucas announced.

"I knew you couldn't resist the smell of cheese, you stupid excuse for a tiny cheeseburger from McDonalds!" Lucario remarked.

"Now, prepare to be blasted to hell by the Hot Topic Krew!" Wolf O'Donnel remarked, summoning a red landmaster in his favor and shooting at Little Mac, before Donkey Kong jumped in and used the Expand Kong to take the hit, right before Palutena literally butted in, using her own variation of the flatulent Peach Bomber as Palutena's explosive flatulence blew the red landmaster to ribbons.

"It is you who will be blasted to hell by the Cute Toot House!" Palutena remarked, swinging her hips as she let out a cute toot with each swing.

Little Mac squinted, dramatic music playing as the camera zoomed in, the boxer being not sure if Palutena's farting was more of a blast, or if Wolf's blast was more like Palutena's farting.

"Boy, Peach sure isn't gonna like you stealing her Peach Bomber Attack." Ike remarked, his head sticking out of a large fried chicken's body, being Chicken Ike.

Palutena scoffed. "So what if I did? She's an inspiration to me and all the other female Smashers here!" she pointed her butt at Ike, farting directly at him as the loud blast of gas blew him back. "Overcooked friend chicken. Ain't nobody got time for that!"

Marth squinted as the dramatic music and zoom-in returned, being not sure if Ike was overcooked, or blasted back by Palutena's loud fart.

"Oh relax. It's Friday. Gotta get downs on Fridays!" Shulk stated as he broke into dance, literally getting down. "Oh yeah! I am feeling it!" suddenly he felt pain from getting down, not being flexible as he felt too much. "D'oh! Here come the pain! I wish not to feel it!"

"I got the weirdest boner from watching that right now!" Little Mac stated as he pulled out a piece of mint chocolate..._with cheese._

"Ain't nobody got time for that." Donkey Kong shook his head.

"You guys wanna see what we do have time for?" Dr. Mario asked, leaning against the wall as he smiled, sounding like Gene Wilder.

"No! Because you lose! Good day sir!" Riki yelled.

"Guess what time it is." Reyn asked.

"Morphing Time!" Marth announced as he pulled out a Morpher, the Power Rangers Morphing Time music playing in the background as Marth morphed into a blue ranger.

"Peanut Butter Jelly Time!" The PBJ Banana yelled as he broke into his trademark PBJ Time Dance.

"Adventure Time!" Lucas claimed.

"No you airhead idiots! It's Reyn Time!" Reyn remarked.

"Hey, my head is not full of air! Only my butt is!" Palutena remarked as he ripped a loud, cute toot that was loud enough to shake the room as Reyn was thrown off his balance and knocked into a wall, which combined with Palutena's next batch of flatulence, which was brassy and deep pitched to the point where it even sounded wet sometimes, caused debris to fall on top of everyone, part of the mansion being collapsed as the smash crew battle began to take a turn for the worse.

As long as nothing makes sense, it's not over.


	4. Chapter 4

"Not sure if we are fighting, or doing homework." Donkey Kong stated, squinting his eyes as he stared at the Hot Topic Krew, consisting of Dark Pit, Lucas, Mewtwo, Wolf, Shadow, Lucina, Luigi, Mr. Game and Watch, and the others.

_"Ain't nobody got time for that."_ Ike responded, he, Donkey Kong, and the rest of the MemeMemeMeme Brigade, which consisted of Skulk, Little Mac, Marth, Chrom, Captain Falcon, and several others.

"Your words are strong, but talk is cheap!" Mewtwo remarked.

"What do you know, you're a fucking DLC!" Chrom remarked.

"Our hot topics are hotter than your memes!" Mewtwo fumed, making a mature rebuttal against Chrom, trying not to stoop to his level.

"Plus, this-a-club is-a the one thing-a-protecting me from-a-Goomboss and-a-King Bob-omb-a!" Luigi stated.

Donkey Kong squinted his eyes again. "Not sure if we are fighting verbally, or if we will now attack physically."

"You're pathetic." Greninja remarked.

"We're putting you Hot Topic Kremlings on ice!" Shulk yelled, right before both clubs began fighting each other, the room turning into an arena with both ends of the room becoming "out-of-bounds" zones as the physical fighting between the two clubs began.

After several minutes of Smash fighting between the two clubs, a huge earthquake shook the mansion, followed by a set of deep pitched, brassy sounds as the entire mansion shook from the force, several bits of debris falling down on top of both clubs.

"What the hell? And what is that smell?" Wolf O'Donnel groaned, he and the others faced with a familiar stench that filled the room in the form of green gas.

"That is the smell of defeat from my newest club since the Pink Peers!" Princess Peach announced, letting out one more brassy poot as the fart fog cleared, revealing Zero Suit Samus, Bianca from Pokemon BW, Hello Nurse from Animaniacs, and Isabelle from Animal Crossing.

"Oh no." Donkey Kong slapped his forehead and lowered his head in dismay.

"Princess Peach, the Classic Brassy Butt Burper!" Princess Peach stated.

"Zero Suit Samus, the Brassy Bounty Hunter!" Zamus stated.

"Bianca, the Big Butted Brassy Butt Burper of Baked Beans and Bean Burritos!" Bianca stated.

"Hello Nurse, the Brassy Valediction!" Hello Nurse stated.

"Isabelle, the Brassy, Gassy Secretary!" Isabelle stated, releasing a high pitched poot in a fit of irony.

"And together, we're-" all 5 gassy, brassy blonde haired chicks (save for Isabelle who had blonde fur) made different poses. "_The Brassy Blondes!"_

"What the hell-o nurse is this?" Marth remarked, with Hello Nurse smiling as he did.

"I concur." Marth concurred. "You already have the Pink Peers. Why the hell do you feel the need to start another club?"

"I'll explain." Peach started. "You see, sometimes the other Pink Peers won't let me fart with them, and every once in a while I need to be around people I can be comfortable farting with, moreso gals that can return the favor and aren't too uptight about it. So now I have an all-farter group! Don't get wrong, There will always be a time and place for everything else."

"The Pink Peers was kind of an all-farter group. Don't they all fart at some point?" Lucina asked.

"Whatever." Zamus scoffed. "Adam never authorizes me to fart during missions. And all I ever do is sit on my farting ass all day! I'd like to be able to put my farts to good use. So in a way, I need this!"

"All our farts are so wonderfully deep pitched! It makes me feel so alive!" Bianca clapped and hopped in place, pooting a deep one with each hop.

"Call me the brains of the blondes." Hello Nurse stated, making a sexy pose and farting in equal brass pitch with Bianca.

**_"H-H-H-Hellooooooooooooooo Nurse!"_** Lucas' jaw dropped as he abruptly started drooling, his pupils popping out as the sight of the hot nurse turned him Wakko, the blonde headed boy running up to her, his thoughts adrift as she was his only focus. "Can I join? I can be brassy too!"

"You fucking idiot!" Dark Pit growled.

Hello Nurse scoffed as Isabelle farted a raunchy poot that knocked him over, snapping Lucas out of it.

"Ohh, I hope Mr. Resetti doesn't adopt me for this!" Isabelle muttered, a not-so-cute, deep pitched poot following her sentence.

"With us around, that ain't gonna happen!" Peach stated. "And of course did I mention? **Blondes have more fun!**"

All of the others groaned at this, right before the Brassy Blondes all farted brassy farts in unison, shaking the foundations of the mansion again as piles of debris fell on top of some of them, crushing them.

Donkey Kong, being one of the lucky survivors, squinted again. "Not sure if eyes burning from how bright their hair is, or because of stinky farts."


End file.
